scandals

1 At *that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying: Who, thinkest thou, is the greater in the kingdom of heaven?

2 *And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them,

3 And said: Amen I say unto you, *unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greater in the kingdom of heaven.

5 And he that shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me.

6 *But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a mill-stone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

7 Wo to the world because of scandals. For it must needs be that scandals come: but nevertheless wo to that man by whom the scandal cometh.

8 *And if thy hand or thy foot scandalize thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee. It is better for thee to enter into life maimed or lame, than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into everlasting fire.

9 And if thy eye scandalize thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee. It is better for thee with one eye to enter into life, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

10 Take heed that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to you, *that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.

11 *For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

I awakened this morning to the television news, protests at the archdiocese of Los Angeles.  The spokespeople were angry and appeared to be mostly lead by attorneys. I have nothing against attorneys, they are very useful, as long as they are the instrument and not the hand that manipulates the instrument.  This is a general statement and not specific to the event of which I have no opinion. I am for any justice that is driven by survivors. Sometimes I see justice driven by those who are not survivors and it concerns me that they are doing more harm than good to the survivor.   Any motive not from the survivor I am against and has the potential to do harm, and in fact, already harms the survivor by discounting them.

In being abused we have been discounted and the consequences resulting from the abuse have further discounted and sometimes objectify us again.  We have been discounted and objectified enough.  Thus, any “justice” not driven by survivors is abusive. Again, this is a general statement and not specific.

I know that the Church will continually be attacked around the world whether or not the attacks are founded in truth    This is the nature of God's kingdom on earth. I further know that the archdiocese in Los Angeles has admitted the harm done and made amends to survivors through paying for counseling and paying the survivors directly to the tune of billions of dollars.  I now that the Church has implemented what can only be considered a state of the art program not only to insure that abuse does not occur wherever children are within the church -- and that is everywhere -- but that their programs go further by educating people to identify potential abuse survivors who have been abused outside the church and how to effectively help them.  Every single person associated with the church in this archdiocese at any level from janitor to cardinal has to be certified in this program.  Thus the church has taken scandal and then taken a leadership role on the issue of CSA. I am certified in this program.

I also feel compelled to speak of my personal story.  I survived abuse from four family members.  Three of which sexually abused me.  These were not clergy; they were the adults closest to me.  My mother, my grandfather (my mother's step father), and my grandmother.  My father was verbally emotionally and physically abusive but not sexually, except in the sense that he did nothing to stop the sexual abuse that I endured, whether he knew about it or not is irrelevant, as my father his job was to protect me from such things, as a child he was supposed to protect me period.

The sexual abuse occurred between the ages of 4 and 9.  It is unimaginable to be discounted and objectified by the very people who were supposed to love protect and put me first and give me my subjectivity. UNIMAGINABLE literally and figuratively.

At the age of 9 my hero appeared.  My pastor, my principal, a Catholic priest. A kindly man with an Irish brogue Monsignor O'Brien from Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish in Clovis California. Monsignor O'Brien met with me privately on more than one occasion bringing me to the rectory and speaking with me.  But more than that he put a stop to the abuse. By making phone calls and meeting with the perpetrators, he, one might say, put the fear of God in them. While this did nothing to help me overcome the defense mechanisms and issues that resulted from the abuse -- there was no counseling etc. it did put a stop to the abuse. For that I am forever grateful for this Catholic priest, and I think of him often, did the right thing regardless of the consequences.

His actions in no way diminishe my own courage for telling him the truth regardless of the consequences and there were consequences not only in the past by being suffocated by my grandmother to the point of death when at 4 I told her what grandpa had done, I was also, after Monsignor O'Brien  started talking, I was picked up by my Grandmother’s uncles and nephews and laid down on the floor in the back of the car, my neck over the hump with one of my grandmother's nephew’s, a man I had previously looked up to, with his foot on my neck body on one side of the hump head on the other foot on my neck as he told me to stop talking to monsignor O'Brien. This is my family. Hideous criminals.

Monsignor O'Brien died shortly after that.  He will always have a warm place in my heart.  A genuine hero of the faith.