Sunday, November 8, 2015

Trauma is not Mental Illness it is natural Mental Health

Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood.” Alice Miller ~Drama of the Gifted Child

The symptoms of Childhood sexual abuse are not mental illness, but perfectly normal reactions to specific things that were done to us by specific people. We would be mentally ill if we did not exhibit the syndrome, PTSS. But there is no ICD code for PTSS.

What is PTSS
Post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) as opposed to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the possible emergence of Complex PTSD as a separate DX. I am not disordered, dysfunctional nor mentally ill. My perpetrators were. All I have to do is absorb the totality of the horrible reality that is too hideous even to remember. I prefer PTSS because it puts the onus of disorder on the perpetrators where it belongs. However, the psychiatrists haven' grasped this fully yet. So they list PTSD in the DSM. Remember we are in charge we survivors are the ones who are educating them. Like everything else we must do it even though it is not our fault. You are not alone and you are not to blame.
I have exhibited a series of symptoms that are perfectly normal given what was done to me. As I absorb the reality and put the blame on the perpetrators, whatever method I use EMDR, somatic etc. the symptoms melt away and I become whole, as if the abuse never happened.

Why is this such a long process?
Because the damage is deep and occurred at various stages of development, not in an adult with a fully developed neurological system and psyche. Keep moving forward and avoid avoidance.

Monday, July 27, 2015

The Transformation of Suffering.

In his recent article five Practices for Nurturing Happiness (see describes the general process for healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse (here and throughout this article I use the term Childhood Sexual Abuse which is actually a term from the perpatraors perspective and thus supports perpetration however it is well known. What we are talking about is the raping of a child the assault on a child using what adults consider to me sexual. Childhood sexual abuse is abuse the the child in all it its forms, emotional, physical, spiritual, neglectful etc. it encapsulates all of child abuse and some point soon I will stop using this phrase of perpetration. To raise consciousness language must change. I tend t be prices with my use of words, much like a painter choosing and mixing colors from a palate. If one is casual in their use and understanding of words they may misconstrue or miss what I am saying entirely. On aspect of mediation and mindfulness is the sharpening of the mind -- learn the precis meaning of words and nuance).

There is no greater suffering, there are no greater suffers than those who have survived Childhood Sexual Abuse. For those of you who are not familiar with Thay (

Juanita Ryan

(please see and

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Sunday, July 19, 2015

Male Dominance an Avenue of Avoidance

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 Talking Trees

Healing is a process that requires knowledge, lots of it. Knowledge alone won't automatically move you forward, but the lack of knowledge can definitely keep you stuck. The knowledge that is required to thrive is not just about childhood sexual abuse. We need to understand how the mind works, how the body works, and how society works. All of these systems converge onto each of our personal healing journey. There is no single book, website, support page or support person that can give you all of the information that you need to thrive. You must become intimately involved with your own seeking and learning and processing and growing. Invest intentional time in healing (away from the computer) to engage in the learning process. Topics related to healing include: cognitive dissonance, social development, fitness and health, male dominance, religion (the study of religion, not the practice), mindfulness, feminism. So even though support and information for survivors are very limited, support and information related to healing is not limited at all. The most important element is YOU. (see

 My response
It is interesting how some people can use up so much time energy and space to say absolutely nothing. Writers used to crumple up these pages and toss them in the waste basket when they came to the realization that ... well there is no point made here. I save mine in a folder, we have computers now, sort of an electronic waste basket so I can retrieve it, because you know there's always that one sentence that begins to haunt you and you go through the waste basket looking for the one crumpled paper with the one sentence upon which an entire worthwhile idea can be based. Writers are like this.

I particularly find offensive and untenable the theme that addressing male dominance has value in healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse. This is an obvious path to avoidance of the reality that survivors make or female are abused sexual by males and/or females and that the real issues that are being avoided by fixating on "male dominance" and it's attended generalized anger which is as very good hypothesis to explore as a reason for female homosexuality, but the theme of male dominance avoids the real issues that need to be reflected on and healed these are the operant conditioning to trade compliance for needs and concomitantly the classical conditioning of needing to sexually objectify oneself in order to get love affection and attention, the self-hatred associated with this.

It the generalized anger toward males particularly in the area of sex because of a female being sexually abused by an important male in her life one seen as dominate in the social group known as the family can certainly be used as a rebellious activity to avoid the real issues. The same points can also be used as environmental conditioning for lesbianism. This hy[hypothesis should be explored further.

In summary I think we can see relationships between male dominance being suggested as a healing avenue when there is no such evidence, how such thinking about make dominance can be triggered by a certain form of childhood sexual abuse ie father daughter abuse, how generalizing one's understandable anger toward such horrible and hideous suffering can be used as an avoidance technique for the real issues of operant and classical conditioning that leads to self-hatred and that finally there may be a linkage between father daughter childhood sexual abuse and lesbianism.
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