Trauma is not Mental Illness it is natural Mental Health

Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery and emotional acceptance of the truth in the individual and unique history of our childhood.” Alice Miller ~Drama of the Gifted Child

The symptoms of Childhood sexual abuse are not mental illness, but perfectly normal reactions to specific things that were done to us by specific people. We would be mentally ill if we did not exhibit the syndrome, PTSS. But since there is no ICD code for PTSS we must endure the label disordered in order to be receive  therapy. 

What is PTSS

Post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) as opposed to post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the possible emergence of Complex PTSD as a separate DX. I am not disordered, dysfunctional nor mentally ill. My perpetrators were. All I have to do is absorb the totality of the horrible reality that is too hideous even to remember. I prefer PTSS because it puts the onus of disorder on the perpetrators where it belongs. However, the psychiatrists haven' grasped this fully yet. So they list PTSD in the DSM. Remember we are in charge we survivors are the ones who are educating them. Like everything else we must do it even though it is not our fault. 

You are not alone and you are not to blame.

I have exhibited a series of symptoms that are perfectly normal given what was done to me. As I absorb the reality and put the blame on the perpetrators, whatever method I use EMDR, somatic etc. the symptoms melt away and I become whole, as if the abuse never happened.

Why is this such a long process?

Because the damage is deep and occurred at various stages of development, not in an adult with a fully developed neurological system and psyche. Keep moving forward and avoid avoidance.