Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day Card


Mother's Day Card






Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers.

I have no reference point for this sort of thing.

Mom, apple pie, cookies, these things allude me. 

The emotions evoked by the very word, mother, are not part of my direct experience.

Oh, I have movies and books and poetry and the experience of others

but the woman referred to as mom broke those ties and that relationship long ago.


An so on this Mother's Day 2012 

I return to you mom

the gifts you have given me

The gifts of pain and shame and guilt and blame

the gift of self doubt of low self-esteem

the gift of those things I might have achieved if not for you

The gift of hideous, grotesque memories of 

unspeakable acts that you perpetrated upon your children

the secrets designed to save yourself and the family reputation at the price of

your children, whom above all else you were charged with putting first protecting

and defending

And most especially the gift of blame and responsibility which you so generously gave me 

when 

was a child. For it is I to whom you gave the gift of 

responsibility for YOUR criminal behavior

This Mother's day I return that freight bill to you for it is your bill, and I will pay it

no more.

For these things long repressed by an innocent child to retain his innocence in the sickness

 that 


surrounded him. 

Valiantly and courageously he pushed through on his own

and now the truth is exposed to the light and with the help of Our Lord and his mother they

 have 

been healed.

And so this Mother's day I return to you these gifts of a failed motherhood. For all these 

rightly

 belong to you the mother not me the innocent child. I will not look for you nor will I cover for 

you 

anymore.

I retain for myself those things I have overcome and achieved in spite of you.

But there is one which you tried to steal and failed at that one so sweet and beautiful and 


innocent and it has recently emerged, regarding that most important of human 

relationships. 

Because of God you failed even in stealing that although you tried. And even before the 

truth 

had emerged when I made the attempt to express my feelings to you you put me down for 

feeling as I do. And at that time I did not know the truth. Now I do and it remains as sweet 

and 

beautiful and innocent you have not even tainted it. And yes I am a "school boy" about this 

(giggles) and I love it. My hope and confidence in Our Lord remains for it is true that he 

does 

not give a gift of one to each other and then take it away. 

And as always it is the truth that sets us free. I stand courageously and if I have to alone with 

God on the truth and not the ideal of mom and apple pie.

So, please take back your gifts which never should have been given to a child.

And rest assured that when you pass, I will not be there. I will however keep the promise I 

made to you. Not because I am such a great Catholic, no because you are so deserving, but 

because Our Lord commands us to love one another. I will offer my sufferings through this 

period in atonement for your deeds, because Our Lord commands that we love one 

another, 

and that is the only gift I give to you. There is one theft though for which I cannot pay. And 

that is 


the time you stole from me and those who love me. the time I have had to spend dealing 

with 

this. 

for this you will have to stand before Our Lord. For I am convinced that this is what he was 

talking about when he said better for them to have a milstone tied around their neck and 

thrown 

into the sea. For I am not God, and I cannot redeem the time. Time on this earth is a gift 

from 

God. It is more precious than Gold, more valuable than diamonds and for me to have have 

to 

figure this out deal with the cross and heal took time. It robbed my time from those I love 

and 

who love me the joy of time spent with those who I love and love me. I can only move 

forward 

with the truth and that love that means so much tome me so deep so true I rely on Our 

Lord's 

promise that he can redeem the time and that he will not take away so such a beautiful and 

desired gift.


Happy Mother's Day 2012

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